Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
