Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
