where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
