so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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