It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
