Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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