i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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