She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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