i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
