On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
