Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
