Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
