Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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