True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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