i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
