Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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