I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
