That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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