so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
