we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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