I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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