And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
