I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
