I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
