I wish I only lived at night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
