So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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