I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
