they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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