I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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