i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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