Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
