Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
