I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
