Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
