sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
time to smoke my breakfast
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
