Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
