Are we in a gay sports bar?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
