I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She announced her abortion via fbk
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
