he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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