shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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