Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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