we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
