i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
