it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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