i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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