Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
