aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
