when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
