he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
