you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
