I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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