3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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