We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
