One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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