If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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