Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
