Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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