Duck Duck Cougar?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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