dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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