Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
