I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
