WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
