I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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