i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
