took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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