I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
