pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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