remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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