I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
